Andrea Borzatta, Chair of the Board

Marital status

Married

Children

2 boys (2011/2014)

Occupation / current role

Lic.oec.HSG, communication expert/media spokesperson, currently a mother and president of Periparto, training as a Pilates instructor

Hobbies

Creative work, reading, traveling, Pilates

First PPD onset

About 2 months after the emergency cesarean birth of my first son

PPD lasted approximately

About 2 years, but recurrent PPD after the second birth

History of depression / depressive mood

None; but a tendency towards perfectionism

Signs / symptoms of my PPD

Sleep disturbances, fatigue, aggression, self-doubt, sadness, apathy, inner restlessness, panic attacks

Triggers of my PPD

Premature birth with emergency cesarean section, separation after birth, severe physical discomfort, breastfeeding problems, drinking difficulties for the child, constant fear for my son (especially regarding his development), little distraction or professional recognition, no sports

My PPD in a nutshell

After a traumatic birth due to severe HELLP syndrome (complicated form of pregnancy poisoning), my first son was born nearly five weeks early and weighed 2300 grams. After birth, he was transferred directly to the children's hospital to the neonatal intensive care unit due to a respiratory distress syndrome. He was also intubated. I myself spent three days in intensive care, but at the maternity hospital, and therefore could not see him for the first three days. My love was immense from the first moment, but unfortunately, my fear and worry for him were almost even greater. When we were allowed to go home after 2 weeks, I was almost constantly busy pumping and feeding him. He drank very poorly and my fear that he might not thrive properly grew steadily. I blamed myself for that. After two months, I spent a few more days in the hospital due to a breast infection. I wanted to wean him, but was advised against it. After three months, I was mostly able to breastfeed, but it was still very difficult and time-consuming. I sought less and less contact with the outside world, feeling trapped at home and sad and empty. My husband helped me a lot, but I constantly felt guilty that I was holding him back from his work due to my "inability". After 6.5 months, I abruptly stopped breastfeeding and then started taking antidepressant medications. However, that alone was not enough: there followed visits to support groups, therapies, emotional first aid, etc. After about a year and a half, I felt a bit more stable and stopped the medications. When I became pregnant again, I had great respect, both for the medical risks during pregnancy and for the time afterward. Unfortunately, after the second birth, despite good preparation and an uncomplicated delivery, I fell back into a hole. This time, however, I reacted faster, took medication again sooner, and also spoke more openly about my condition.

Reaction from those around me

Partial overwhelm, helplessness, but also interest and compassion

Treatment (therapy)

Antidepressants, psychotherapy, mother-and-child unit, osteopathy, emotional first aid, mindfulness/MBSR

Medication

1st PPD: Cipralex; 2nd PPD: Valdoxan, Quetiapine, Lyrica, Fluoxetine

What really helped me

1. Accepting that I am sick and need help

2. No longer keeping my condition a secret

Literature recommendation

Brooke Shields: I Would Love to Love You

My realization

I wish I had known as much about the illness back then as I do today. Then I wouldn't have suffered in silence for so long and would have dared to speak earlier about my feelings and my overwhelm. It is very important for me to pass on my knowledge and personal experience, as no one should have to go through such a crisis alone. A mental illness surrounding childbirth can affect anyone, and no one should be ashamed of it.