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«Life is not predictable and not all changes in the schedule are understandable and tangible. What I deeply trust in is my YES to life and to the people who are by my side. I have always been very open about my illness and have always been received openly.»
Year of birth
1987
Marital status
Married
Children
One daughter (2018)
Occupation / current role
Environmental scientist; working as a soil specialist in an environmental office
Hobbies
Exploring nature and mountains on foot, by ski, or on a mountain bike; creative projects in the kitchen, garden, or at the sewing machine
First signs of my postpartum psychosis
Insomnia, perceptual disturbances, hallucinations
Duration
Acute psychotic phase lasted only a few days; subsequent post-traumatic stress disorder and depression for about 1 year; healing process took about 3 years
Triggers
not precisely studied; it is suspected that the rapid hormonal drop after birth is a significant trigger
My story in a nutshell
I experienced an uncomplicated pregnancy and the birth of my first child. I had no prior mental health issues. The first signs of postpartum psychosis developed around the third day after birth with intense emotions, initial perceptual disturbances, and a changed bodily sensation. After 6 days and nights without sleep, a significant symptom and likely also a trigger for psychosis, severe hallucinations emerged. Postpartum psychoses are psychiatric emergencies, and I was therefore urgently admitted to psychiatry. The initial treatment with medication and shielding from all stimuli went well, and I was soon able to return home - back to my family and my child, from whom I had been separated. With the start of medication, I had to stop breastfeeding. The subsequent outpatient treatment was initially difficult. The correct adjustment of medications, finding a suitable doctor, managing the new daily life as a mother alongside medical appointments and severe side effects from the medications took an incredible amount of energy. The question of "why" constantly occupied my mind, as my condition was not explainable to me. There was no obvious reason, no trigger, no pre-existing conditions that should have disrupted my brain functions and nervous system. I made an early decision to make the best of the situation and to put all my strength into my recovery. With the support of my loving, strong family, dedicated friends, a trustworthy doctor, a supportive professional environment, and a lot, a lot of patience with myself, I managed to find a path to complete healing.
Reaction of those around me
In one word: shocked. No one in my surroundings had ever heard of this rare and simultaneously acute form of postpartum mental illness.
Treatment
Initial treatment in an acute psychiatric hospital; subsequently outpatient psychiatric treatment with psychotherapy (cognitive behavioral therapy)
Medication
Abilify, Cipralex, Temesta, sleep medications
What really helped me
Meeting my basic needs: foremost sleep. Nourishing food. Protection and orientation. My doctor described the condition of postpartum psychosis as a "storm in the brain." This describes it quite well. It was a severe storm. I built a new foundation. Everything could be reorganized. Regeneration takes time.
My realization
Life is not predictable, and not all changes in the schedule are understandable and tangible. What I deeply trust is my YES to life and to the people who are by my side. I have always been very open about my illness and have always been received openly.