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«Without what I went through, I wouldn't be where I am today. It was a tough time, but it helped me get to know myself better — and to understand myself.»
Year of birth
1987
Marital status
Married
Children
Girl 2018
Boy 2022
Occupation / current role
Mother and lawyer
Hobbies
Singing in a choir, cooking, eating, reading, crafting, listening to podcasts
First PPD onset
Postpartum depression went undetected from birth until my daughter was 14 months old.
Duration of PPD
Approximately 20 months from my daughter's birth. Depressive waves still occur regularly every few weeks or months, though I've since learned to recognise and manage them well.
Triggers of my PPD
Two years of unfulfilled desire for children, an ectopic pregnancy, IVF treatments, and complications during pregnancy.
My PPD in a nutshell
After the birth, everything simply felt different from what I'd expected. I should have just been happy to have given birth to a healthy girl — but in some inexplicable way, I was internally blocked from letting myself feel anything for this content, always cheerful, genuinely lovable little being. Instead, I grew more closed off, more irritable, and felt numb inside. For months, I couldn't even recognise that something was seriously wrong.
After 14 months, things came to a head when my husband had me take the self-test on this website. The result was sobering — and it finally gave me permission to let the tears I'd been holding back for weeks flow freely. That's what allowed me to begin treatment, and eventually, to truly learn to love my daughter. Since then, I've kept working on myself and on my relationship with my children — work that has been deeply fulfilling and has given me back a great deal of quality of life.
Reaction from those around me
During those 14 months, I tried to keep up a front — and unfortunately, I succeeded, so that only my closest family noticed I wasn't myself anymore. Since my diagnosis, I've been very open about it, and the reactions I get are almost entirely positive.
Treatment (therapy)
Outpatient care combined with medication.
Medication
I initially tried without medication, but after a month decided to go for it — and from that point, my recovery progressed much faster.
Fluoxetine
Cipralex
What really helped me
Exchange with other affected individuals, and conversations with my family and close friends. Therapy sessions with my psychologist, as well as complementary treatments. And, very importantly: time for myself.
My realisation
Without what I went through, I wouldn't be where I am today. It was a difficult time, but it helped me get to know myself better — and to understand myself. Even though I couldn't see a way out back then, I sought help, and managed to feel better within a short time.