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Nina loved her son from the very beginning. However, she was completely overwhelmed by the new task of being a mother and the responsibility of a baby in the long term. Her doctors diagnosed her with postpartum depression. Therapy and a support group gave her new strength. How, she shares in this report.
Leon (name changed) was not planned. I became pregnant at a time when my partner and I had not known each other for long. I had just quit my job. It was the worst possible moment to have a child. I considered having an abortion because I was not sure whether my partner was the right person for me. But when, during a prenatal check-up, I saw the tiny heart beating on the monitor, I began to form an emotional bond with my baby. In addition, I had always wanted to become a mother. I am in my mid-thirties and not getting any younger. So I thought to myself: yes, we can do this.
I loved Leon from the very beginning, unlike some other mothers with postpartum depression who are unable to bond with their babies. However, I was angry about what motherhood entailed: being completely alone with the baby during the day and carrying the full responsibility for the child. I was unable to truly enjoy Leon’s development.
The combination of all the therapies—even after hospitalization—together with the self-help group truly helped me a great deal. I still attend the group regularly to talk with the others. I know that if I were to feel worse again, I would find support there.
Today, I love Leon deeply. He is making very rapid progress in all areas. He learns a great deal from the other children at daycare. I take great joy in his development and milestones. At the beginning, this gave me nothing at all. Even today, however, I still find it difficult to deal with babies and don’t feel particularly comfortable around them.
Since I’ve been feeling better, my relationship with my partner has also improved. We still argue about small things, but now everything is within a normal range.
This personal account was published on Familienleben.ch in March 2015.
